So the 4th of July is coming up in the US (or, as it is known in the UK – “Good Riddance to the Colonies Day”) and wherever you are, it means time for a picnic – unless you’re down under where it’s winter… gosh, it’s hard to please everyone with such a global audience!
Well, we’ve got some great ideas for spending time around the “Barbie”, in the backyard, by the pool, in the kitchen, wherever… let’s start with the Victorinox Steak Knives that John P. featured on the infamous… err… mangroomer episode…I wanted to forget all about that! Regardless, you can get these knives, and they’ll cut through anything or anyone like butter! This is a set of six, rosewood handled knives that the Amazon community has given a rating of four and a half stars. Hard to beat! Since knives make a HUGE difference in the ease of preparing your food, $129 is worth it!
Now that you’ve got knives, you’re going to need forks — but not just ANY forks.
Hang on… I have to take a breath to say this. The Bear Paws Meat Handler Forks with Claws … whew! They’ll have you tossing around chargrilled protein like a large, hungry predator. It’s only $16, heat resistant to 475 degrees, named Best Bar B Que tool by the National Bar B Que Association, and made in ‘Murica! What could be more appropriate for July 4th than that?
Well, again for under $20 you could go with the Grill Daddy Pro Grill Brush. Yep, you heard me right, a PRO grill brush. This thing isn’t for amateurs! You’ve been warned! The Grill Daddy holds two cups of water to steam clean your hot grill as you scrape it – which means you’ll get a refreshing facial in addition to a squeaky clean bar-b-que! And you can feel like a man while getting a facial!
If you REALLY want to be patriotic… and make sure everyone knows it… get the inflatable American Flag Cooler. It’s 5 stars, so it seems you can’t go wrong! Just add adult beverages (or a sarsaparilla), ice, and you’re good to go for less than 15 bucks!
Ah, but Cali you say — what about a GEEKY fourth of July? Oh, ye of little faith: Again for less than $15, may I present the NCC-1701 Star Trek Enterprise Bottle Opener? Now don’t you feel bad for doubting me?
If you’re a Star Wars fan, no worries! Just whip out your Han Solo in Carbonite bottle opener and watch your guests fold faster than a pile of dead Jawas.
Or maybe you’d rather celebrate the 4th in style with a super hero theme? For less than 15 bucks you (or John P) can hold court in front of the raging grill wearing a Captain America apron!
Or, if you’re me…at the same price point – you can vanquish Captain America with Wonder Woman. No one will say ANYTHING about YOU, being at the grill, that’s for sure!
Of course, you’re going to want to keep everyone happy at the party with some killer drinks from the Margaritaville Bahamas Frozen Concoction Maker with “No Brainer Mixer” – complete with a five-star ranked “Shave and Blend” drink system that gets high marks from all of the alcoholics (I mean US Patriots) on Amazon… It’s worth $200! I currently use it to blend my morning whey protein shake, and it works like a charm!
And, once you have plied your boss with plenty of frozen alcohol, then by all means secure your promotion by taking plenty of pictures with your $400 Samsung Galaxy Camera 2 with Android Jelly Bean, WiFi, 16 megapixel sensor 4.8 inch touch screen LCD.
Finally…for less than $20, may I recommend the “Executioner Fly Swat Wasp Bug Mosquito Swatter Zapper?” According to its reviews it can easily dispatch unwanted guests at your picnic up to the size of Wasps (although it does struggle with bumblebees) — in any case, users report that it packs enough of a wallop that YOU don’t want to be hit by it, which makes it the perfect device to deal with John P poolside at the Geek Beat Party 🙂